The Fellowship Of The Cupboard
by luckyyjennyy
Summary: this story was created from the twisted perverse little minds of myself and my friend sarah one evening while on IM. Quite funny & adorable.. We both adore the fellowship but we couldnt resist a few jabbs at them during the creation of this story!
1. The Fellowship Of The Cupboard

The Fellow Ship Of The Cupboard  
  
"It's…. uh interesting… what is it?" I said looking down at the gift presented to me.   
  
My new "apartment" warming party was in full swing and the night was young. All of my family was there and it was gift givin' time! Too bad for me my crazy Aunt Delilah had decided that a family gathering wasn't truly a gathering until she had bum rushed it. Now don't read me wrong, I lover her dearly, I really do… but her presence at parties is always… well interesting…like her gifts.  
  
I was sitting in my new fluffy green lazy boy courtesy of Uncle Kurt with crumpled bits of blue, green and yellow wrapping paper scattered about my feet when Aunt Delilah plopped a large box on my lap. It was covered in a metallic green paper and had merry pink bow with curly cues crowning the top. It was fairly heavy and I gave it a tentative little shake. Whatever it was, it was large an undoubtedly obscure. That was always a given with Aunt Delilah's gifts. I took the box top off and peered cautiously over the edge of the package…  
  
"It's a cabinet!" she exclaimed looking very pleased with herself, she was obviously very proud of her find. "oh," I said thoughtfully. I lifted the cabinet out of the box and set it carefully on the floor. Truth be told it was indeed a cabinet, an old cracked scrap of wood with a rusted copper keyhole. However the little piece did have some character so I picked it up placed it on my new mantle and gave my aunt Delilah a big smile. Taking that I was happy with her gift she gave a short hoot of approval as customary in my family and sat back down merrily.   
  
I resumed opening my gifts after that. A coffee pot from aunt Cyndi; some flower arrangements and wreathes from mom, a picture from my little niece Miranda for my fridge and a couple closet organizers form the king of organization Uncle Kurt.  
  
After the gifts had been opened and dinner served we commenced to partying complete with cocktail weenies and pina coladas. Well everyone else save Miranda and I were parting with the coladas. A two year old and a 19-year-old sitting on the couch drinking grape juice… wow I'm too cool.  
  
Anyway it was growing late and everyone was preparing to leave, well everyone except aunt Delilah. Three sheets to the wind and two drinks from death she swaggered over to me. "Hey psst Jennifer, that cabinet over there…" she closed on eye and pointed over to the mantle. ".. that cabeen that cabinuh.. The thing is verrrrrrrrry special-shhhh!" I gave her a look and she opened her mouth again to speak.   
  
Unfortunately before she could squeak out another word mom and uncle Kurt started over to her and began ushering her out of the door. "Hey no no I hafta' tell her something about the cabinet….hey.." She slurred. All of a sudden she stopped her struggle and thrust her hand in her pocket. After fishing around for a moment she seemed to grasp something. As she removed this object from her pocket both mother and uncle Kurt began pushing her out into the hallway in tandem. Just as aunt Delilah set foot into the carpeted hallway she threw the object to me. I caught it easily, slapped it down on the counter without looking at it and saw everyone off with big hugs and thank yous.  
  
One they had all left I returned to the kitchen to clean up a bit. Once the excess food and plates were thrown away I went to inspect the object my aunt had been so insistent in her drunkenness to show me.  
  
"It's a key," I said to myself picking up and turning it around in my hand. It felt cool and smooth against my palm and the tarnished copper gleamed softly under my kitchen light. I placed the key back onto the counter and gave it one last lingering glance before I headed off the bed.   
  
As I turned down my sheets I looked around my new apartment and for the first time since my arrival and felt a bit lonely. The house was so quiet…so unlived in. I found myself wishing for first time in my life that there was someone-anyone around who would disturb my "peace and quiet" with quiet living noises. 


	2. Jennifer… JENNIFER You fuckwit open the ...

*BANG BANG BANG*  
  
"Jennifer… JENNIFER.. You fuckwit open the door!" A voice called out from the hallway. "Ugh huh what?" I said cracking one eye open sleepily.   
  
My sleepyness faded in a snap however once I realized who and why someone was at my door at this most ungodly hour. That certain someone   
  
happened to be my best friend Sarah D and I had forgotton to unpack my alarm clock last night! I stumbled out bed, down the hallway and   
  
swung open my door.  
  
There sarah stood-green eyes ablaze in a quiet annoyance, her dark curly hair or "sarah bush" as we lovingly call it fanning out over her   
  
shoulders. In her left hand she tightly clutched a caribou coffee bag and in her right a brown cupholder containing two steaming cups.  
  
"It's about time!" she said as she stepped over the threshold and tromping into my kicthen. She swept the room with a glance and said   
  
, "wow, this place is gonna take a lot of work…. Ooh fireplace!" "Good morning to you too" I said sniffing the air. "Is that   
  
chai tea I smell?"   
  
She spun on her heel and looked down at the cups in her hand, " Do you think you deserve tea?"  
  
"I love you sarah"  
  
"Bloody hell…" she murmered as she handed me a cup. We both plopped down in my living room littered with boxes and sipped our drinks.  
  
"So I called Adrien and he'll be over tomorrow to set up everything with a plug" She said brightly while rummaging through the caribou   
  
bag. Her rummaging produced a poppy seed muffin which she promptly threw to me. Again she thrust her hand back into the bag and produced   
  
this time a blueberry scone. She looked pleased with her find a commenced to munching.  
  
I picked up our converstaion saying, " yea because we all know how much the two of us know about electronics!"  
  
"ABSOLUTLY NOTHING" we both shouted before collapsing into a heap of giggles.   
  
While sarah finished her scone I hopped up quickly and took a shower. When I emerged from the bathroom clean and dressed, sarah met me   
  
and asked, " So what room are we doing first?". "uh lets start on the kitchen so we'll actually have place to cook tonight." I replied.  
  
An hour later every dish, spoon and pot was arranged and put into place. The cookbooks were set up and all my aplliances plugged in and  
  
ready for use.  
  
"okay lets split up for a bit, ill do the bathroom since I made a mess of it this morning and you can do the closet in my room. " I said   
  
picking up a box labeled bathroom. Just as I turned to leave sarah abruptly snatched the box from my hands, "no no no no no! I thought we  
  
had established years ago that I would ever have to go into one of your closets ever!" "Sarah, this isn't the old place. I promise you no  
  
snarky depressed middle aged man had hung himself in the closet…thus no ghost" I then plastered a thoughtful look on my face and added "then   
  
again… he could have followed me here…" With that she briskly walked down the hallway into my bathroom.  
  
"Where are you going?" I yelled clearly amused.   
  
"To your bathroom!" she replied. I just shook my head and walked into my room. Now where are my clothes I thought to myself. I looked around   
  
and gave a snort of amusment when I spotted it. "Perhaps it's the box marked clothes." I said aloud. I started to unpack and sarah having   
  
quickly finished my bathroom came to help.   
  
We got the clothes, socks, undies and bras put away but for some unknown reason my shoes where no where to be found."Donde esta los estupido   
  
zapatos!" I said peering into box after box.   
  
"Jenny, tell me you labeled all your boxes…" sarah said slowly giving me a look.   
  
My only reply was a sheepish look, " Well I labeled the boxed with my clothes and undergarments…"  
  
"So you're saying we have to go through ALL these boxes?" She said motioning to the large pile of boxes in my room.  
  
"Well we would have had to eventually…"I replied resuming my search through the mountains of boxes. Sarah just mumbled something in gaelic   
  
at me, which all though I couldn't understand her.. I had a distinct idea as to what she was saying.  
  
"hey hey hey… none of that crazy Dublin talk under my roof young missy!" I said trying to keep a straight face. Sarah just gave a me a smirk  
  
and surveyed the room.   
  
"Okay", I said taking a deep breath, "I'm goin' in….cover me". Sarah just rolled her eyes and began to help me rumage through the various boxes. 


	3. Leggie!

*2 HOURS LATER*  
  
"Okay, we've found your cds, stuffed animals, linens, tools, carolina hurricanes and..." She gave a tiny shudder and continued,  
  
"backstreet boys memorabilia; where the hell are your shoes!" Sarah groused while swatting a strand of dark hair from her face.  
  
"I think I'm gonna cry" I whined from my little niche on the cluttered floor.   
  
"Oh no no no, no crying Jennifer!" Sarah said with a mock stern countenance.   
  
I surveyed the room with a glance and took a deep breath. "We made a mess… but hey ill go get some trash bags, so we can ya Know   
  
reorganize or something."   
  
I stood up fast and walked briskly towards the door. Lucky for me however that I did no happen to notice a small banged up box that   
  
had found its little home in my path.   
  
With a shout my foot connected and I tripped. In typical Jennifer form and fashion I fell very ungracefully   
  
with a thud on the pine floor for which I had so dearly paid.I brought my hand to break my fall but alas it was to no avail,  
  
straight onto the face I went… Oh joyful day! After that all I heard were the hysterical guffaws of my supposed best friend while   
  
I lie there in shame. I roll over and meanly stare at the offending box, which only encouraged my dear friend's laughter.   
  
I must have a bit of a homicidal gleam in my eyes because Sarah promptly grabbed up the box and placed it into her lap. Having  
  
regained what was left of my pride, I crawled over to Sarah and began opening the offending box.  
  
"Leggie!!" Sarah squealed as she peeked into the box. "Oh word! I thought I had lost these all those years ago! Oh mom must   
  
have put them away for me when I exited that whole lord of the rings phase.." I exclaimed poking around the box.  
  
Lo and behold this tiny box was full near to bursting with Lord of the Rings figurines from the year 2002. I took out the Frodo  
  
and admired it silently smiling. Sarah however was quite vocal in her expression of joy as she commenced to fiddling with the Legolas   
  
figurine's bow and quiver.  
  
I caught her gaze and gave her a barely contained smirk, she quietly put the figurine down and blushed. I picked up the Boramir   
  
figure and said "Oh gawd, I loved-love these things! They have to be displayed somewhere!  
  
"How about the cabinet on your mantle?" Sarah absently replied playing with "Pippin".   
  
"My cabinet? Oh yea! But if they come to life they're all mine!" I said gathering up the box and figurines laughing.   
  
"Yea! Right after I'm done with them!" She replied quickly.   
  
So with our arms full of hobbits, elves, men and orcs we made our way into the living room and quickly arranged them in the cabinet.  
  
"Lovely!" Sarah said smiling. I was about to comment but my rumbling stomach interrupted me.   
  
"Hungry? " Sarah asked doing that annoying eyebrow quirk that I just can't seem to master. "Yea… pizza?" I said walking into the   
  
kitchen. "Yea! Pepperoni" she called after me throwing one last glance at the mantle.  
  
The rest of the evening was spent with Sarah and I watching The Two Towers (ya know to get back into the lotr mood) and scarfing down  
  
pizza and my famous chocolate chip cookies. But before bed Sarah made me find my alarm clock so that Adrien wouldn't be stuck out in   
  
the hallway like she had been that morning.   
  
Party Pooper.   
  
We talked late into the night and finally we both succumbed to deep peaceful sleep. Unbeknownst to both Sarah and I was that, that   
  
nightthe wheels of fate creaked into life for us and before long our lives were gonna take a whirl into the wacky. 


	4. Bitch

"Okay connect piece AB to piece GH with bolt C… no no bolt C not bolt G… no here let me do it" Adrien said grabbing the piece  
  
s of my new entertainment system from my lax grip. I just sighed deeply and went off in search of my absent friend, leaving   
  
Adrien to his own devices… with my devices.  
  
"Sarah! Your boyfriend is a controlling arsehole! I mean we went to Electronics King this morning and he literally thought he  
  
was the Electronics KING… and now he's gone all commando on my stereo system.." I whined finding Sarah on my bed reading a   
  
book, as per usual.   
  
Sarah simply lowered the book and said "Not my boyfriend Jennifer. Adrien is a friend… a friend that happens to be a boy."   
  
"That you just happen to snog on a regular basis!" I replied  
  
"That still doesn't mean he's my boyfriend!" Sarah said smiling.  
  
"Hey now… I thought we agreed that I was gonna be the whore of this duo!" I said giggling.  
  
"So why don't you snog Adrien?" Sarah said resuming her reading  
  
"Ew. Hey whatcha readin?" I said flopping on the bed next to her.   
  
"Pride and Prejudice.." She said flipping a page.  
  
"Again? That's gotta be the billionth time! Wait what am I saying…" I said resting my head on one of my soft goose down   
  
pillows. "mmm I wanna rape Mr. Darcy….ooh and bingly… and Draco malfoy… but that's another book all together.." I said   
  
wistfully turning to face Sarah.   
  
Sarah however was caught up in her book and didn't seem to notice whether or not I was talking. I glanced around my   
  
semi-assembled room. Boxes still littered the floor and everything had yet to be put into it's proper place, but it looked   
  
and felt as if someone actually lived there. The walls were an eggshell white and covered in numerous posters.. remnants of   
  
my childhood. Pinups and pictures of movies and musical groups who had long since broken up , but I had found that I was   
  
unable to let them go. I counted the Backstreet boys posters on my wall that I had saved from both mom and Sarah's trash bag  
  
happy rampages and smiled.   
  
I rose from the bed to go check my hair in my new vanity that sat in the corner next to the fireplace. Yes ANOTHER fireplace.  
  
. In the bedroom, I had definitely struck gold in this place! I sat down on the padded seat and started to fiddle with my   
  
cosmetic brushes, Those two hours I spent with Adrien setting up and buying electronics hadn't done much good to my makeup.   
  
I wiped at the excess mascara that I had under my blue green eyes, undoubtedly rubbed off during another one of Adrien's   
  
"technical talks". My rosy complexion was lightly dusted with freckles, which only looked starker against my skin that day   
  
due to my lack of time in the sun.   
  
Depressed by my face I moved on to my hair, all mussed up from the activities of the day. I grabbed a comb and started trying  
  
to put it to rights. My long blonde wavy hair was my one great beauty, because it always seemed to sparkle.  
  
As I sat there combing my hair I felt a great big thud on my back. I turned sharply and was greeted with the sight of a pride  
  
and prejudice book lying haphazardly on the floor. I quickly shifted my glare to a laughing Sarah.  
  
"Would you stop playing with your hair for two seconds! I've been sitting here for close to 10 minutes watching you fiddle   
  
with it!" She said giggling  
  
"hey hey hey! I've got three words for you, sack… car…field" I said in mock seriousness.  
  
Sarah was about to retort but just then a knock came on the door. All I saw was Adrien and a streaking flash of chestnut   
  
brown hair. Before I was even aware of it I had an arm full of a cuddly little 5 year old.  
  
"Aunt Geeeeeenie! I missed you! Look mommy got me a new dress!" My cute little niece Miranda said clutching at the white lace  
  
of her little dress. "Sweet heart I just saw you yesterday" I said sweetly. She looked locked in thought for a moment before  
  
replying with a tight hug, "I still missed you!"   
  
"I missed you too darlin, where's your mommy?" I asked ruffling her hair. She simply pointed towards the living room and   
  
resumed her study of her new dress. I looked over her shoulder and saw my half sister Melinda or sissy as I called her   
  
leaning against the doorway. I stood up with Miranda still in my arms and went to hug my sister.   
  
"Hey, what's up?" I said smiling to my sister and walking into the living room where Adrien was still fiddling with the   
  
stereo. I sat down in a chair and Sissy and Sarah followed suit.   
  
"Oh nothing much, we were just in the neighborhood and decided to see how you were doing!" Sissy replied and then added with  
  
a smile, "hello Sarah, hello Adrien" Adrien just gave mumbled something quickly before diving back into the manual.  
  
"I think he means he's happy to see you again, as am I" Sarah said giggling.   
  
"OOOOHH TOYYSS!" Miranda screamed pointing up at my mantle.  
  
"Huh?.. Oh yea Miranda those were toys that I played with when I was littler"  
  
"You were little? Can I play with them??!" Miranda said brightly looking up at me with her big blue doll eyes.  
  
"Miranda honey, those toys are a little old and are aren't meant to be played with." Sissy said to her pleading daughter.   
  
"Aww mommy" Miranda said squirming from my lap to get into her mother's. "No sweetie." She replied hugging her daughter.   
  
She looked over Miranda's shoulder and mouthed to me, "Can you lock it" all the while making the motion of turning a key.   
  
I motioned to Sarah to grab the tarnished copper key that was still on the kitchen counter from the night before. Sarah   
  
retrieved the key, closed the cabinet and locked it while Sissy and I sang Miranda the itsy bitsy spider.  
  
Sissy checked her watch when we finished this song and said quickly, "Oh no we're gonna be late! I promised Sammy that she   
  
could see her grand daughter today…" She continued sweeping Miranda up,  
  
"Come on sweetie lets go visit great grandma! Say bye bye to Aunt Jenny and Sarah!" Miranda waved and Sissy gestured a "Call  
  
Me" before stepping out into the hallway and into the elevator.  
  
"Aha! Voila!" Adrien practically shouted as he rose from the floor littered with tools. He grabbed up the main remote to my   
  
new stereo system, pushed a button and on popped the tv and surround sound. He turned and gave me a big grin. I shrieked in   
  
excitement and took a running start to jump into his arms. He caught me easily and swung me around.   
  
"Ah it sounds so good! You did such a good job Adrien! Oh thank thank thank you!" I said excitedly mashing random buttons   
  
on the remote. Sarah hugged Adrien as well saying, " See I knew you weren't useless!" "Aw you are too sweet." he replied   
  
sarcastically. "Well ladies seeing as I've spent.." He stopped to check his watch and continued, ".. eek about 3 hours here…   
  
it's time for me to go home to my old lady"   
  
"Aww but I wanted to go buy you dinner as thanks for setting this monster up" I said pointing to the now operational stereo.  
  
"Can I rain check? My old lady gets surly if I don't come home for dinner. But thanks for the offer!" Adrien said packing up  
  
his tools and putting his coat on.  
  
"Your old lady? Is she your girlfriend?" Sarah said undoubtedly coming out more possesive then she intended. "No she's not my  
  
girlfriend Sarah, she's my mom." Adrien said clearly amused. Sarah simply blushed.  
  
"Well I soppose I should go too, I'm supposed to be meeting Claire for a movie tonight so I'll cya later!" Sarah said quickly  
  
struggling to get her coat on as well. Adrien offered his arm to her, "May I offer my services as an escort home?" " You   
  
may." Sarah said coyly. I winked at them both and watched them stroll down the hallway and enter the elevator.   
  
I shut the door and began to clean up around the house, gathering all the empty boxes and stacks of newspaper that I had used  
  
for packing. I popped some popcorn and sat on the couch in front of my new stereo system to watch some tv.   
  
A few hours later I found myself nodding off so I decided to head for bed. I took a shower, slid between my sheets and   
  
quickly fell into a deep peaceful sleep.  
  
*scratch scratch*  
  
"Masters Pippin and Merry, please refrain from movement" hissed a smooth tenor from inside the cabinet on the mantle.  
  
"Aragorn…where are we?" a hushed cultured voice asked  
  
"I know not friend elf, wait up there I see a streak of light!" exclaimed the figure named Aragorn.   
  
"Legolas could you climb up and use your skilled Elvin eyes to try to discover our location?" he continued.   
  
"I will return quickly" replied the Elvin owner of the cultured voice, Legolas.  
  
The elf gracefully scaled the shelves located in the interior of the cabinet and peeked out of the keyhole that was half the   
  
ength of a man and let in the streak of light. His bewilderment only grew when he peered out of the keyhole, discovering   
  
what looked to be a home but seemingly on a massive scale.   
  
He called back down to his companions, " I fear we have been taken captive by a giant"  
  
"A giant, Legolas?" replied the dwarf in the company.  
  
"Yes Gimli, a giant." replied the elf with amusement clear in his voice.  
  
"Um I don't mean to interrupt your uh friendly banter but uh who is that breathing on my neck?" the small creature by the   
  
name of Pippin said nervously in his Scottish brogue.   
  
Everyone in the company whispered "Merry!". But from the opposite side of the cabinet came Merry's offended voice saying   
  
"Hey it's not me!"  
  
"Hobbits… Frodo, Sam, Merry… Pippin gather 'round" Aragorn said unsheathing his sword.  
  
However as Pippin slowly made steps to Aragorn he was spun around quickly. Though it was dark and he could see nothing he   
  
knew by the stench that he was in the grasp of an orc.   
  
"AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!"  
  
I woke up with a start upon hearing small scratching noises coming from my living room. I had dismissed the sounds as perhaps  
  
a squirrel on the porch or perhaps it was just the building's foundation settling, but when I heard several men's voices   
  
drifting into my room I bolted upright in bed. Perhaps I was hallucinating… or perhaps not. Whatever the answer was, I had to  
  
find out. I silently creeped out of bed and over to the door. I pressed my ear to the cool surface of my door and found that  
  
I there were indeed men's voices coming from my living room!  
  
I gasped quickly and creeped over to my cordless phone. I picked it up and silently walked into my closet and shut the door,  
  
all the while dialing Sarah's number.  
  
"uh 'lo" I heard Sarah's sleepy voice say from the other end of the line. I instantly felt some of my fear subside, almost as  
  
if hearing Sarah's voice made me think she was here with me.  
  
"Sarah" I whispered into the receiver, "Sarah I'm in my closet"  
  
"Ugg well good for you…. Now can I go back to sleep?" Sarah replied grumpily.  
  
"No, no you don't understand…I hear men's voices coming from my living room!" I said hurriedly straining to hear something   
  
that was being said in the living room to no avail.  
  
"Jennifer, did you leave your tv on again?" Sarah said sounding more awake now.  
  
"No!" I replied  
  
"Because you called me saying the exact thing.. what was it..a couple months ago. Remember? You heard strange voices coming   
  
from your living room, had the cops burst in and it was really just old reruns of nightrider on because you forgot to turn   
  
your tv off…" Sarah said with a tone of amusement in her voice.  
  
"I didn't leave the tv on! Well at least I don't think I left it on…" I said thoughtfully.  
  
Sarah just sighed and told me, "Okay we'll settle this, go up to your door and try to find out what they're talking about,   
  
If it's about the nightrider I was right…."  
  
"And what if it's about my head on a platter?" I asked crawling out of the closet and to my door.  
  
"Then I'm up one new stereo system" she replied sounding pleased with herself.  
  
"Bitch" 


	5. Sarah, where does Billy Boyd live?

The Fellowship of the Cupboard  
  
I crept up to the door as silently as I could manage and nervously put my left ear on the door's surface while practically smashing the phone receiver into my right. I waited… and waited… and I heard nothing. I thought perhaps I was dreaming it all, or perhaps it was a neighbor's television.  
  
"I don't hear anything" I whispered into the receiver.  
  
"Nothing at all?" Sarah paused and then continued, " Well that is either very very good or very very bad"  
  
"Wait shut up!" I breathed harshly into the phone, pressing my ear harder against the door. There it was again! The hushed voices had started again, and they sounded quite familiar.   
  
"Sarah… where does Billy Boyd live?" I asked  
  
"I dunno, it Scotland I guess you dolt… wait why are we talking about this! There might be strange men in your living room and we're talking about Billy Boyd! What am I gonna tell everyone at your funeral.. Oh her last words were hey Sarah where does bil-"  
  
"Shut up!" I said cutting her off.  
  
I listened again. Wait.. what now I'm hearing Viggo Mortenson? And ugg now Dommie, "Okay okay, I know what's going on" I saidadjusting my voice to full volume.   
  
"Remember when we watched LOTR last night? " I said straightening myself up and opening my door.  
  
"Yes Jennifer" Sarah said exasperated.   
  
"Well I left it in the DVD player, when I left the living room I must have accidentally turned it on and…" I said now standing in front of the entertainment stand pushing the power button on my DVD player, only to find that it had been off theentire time.  
  
I nervously laughed and rechecked the plugs. "Jennifer…." Sarah her voiced confused but tinged with anxiousness.  
  
"Well it must have been on! I mean either that or the cast of lord of the rings is hiding in my living room" I jokingly said flipping on all the light switches.  
  
"Do you want me to come over?" Sarah said and I smiled. Always my guardian Sarah seemed to always know when I was really upset.  
  
"No no, I mean I'll be fine, I'll just go back to bed… yea" I said peering behind random pieces of furniture.  
  
"Too late, I'm in my car. Okay don't move, go back into your room and wait for me. I've got my cell phone on me so if you need to just call. I'll be over in about 7 minutes. Oh yea and don't worry about unlocking the door, your mom gave me the spare." Sarah said quickly and firmly before hanging up.  
  
I swept the room with a glance and finally began to feel safe. Safe right up until I heard a piercing scream emanate from the cupboard on my mantle piece. I jumped six feet into the air before diving behind my couch.  
  
I could hear the clash of metal and ::gulp:: growling follow the scream as I peered over the edge of the couch. To my amazement the cupboard was rocking back and forth, to the left and right almost as if a struggle were occurring at that moment inside of it.  
  
"Okay, that's it… I'm crazy. I always joked about it but I guess the day has come. I am now certifiably insane." I said   
  
standing up walking cautiously to the cupboard.   
  
"I'm hearing the "voices"," I said tightly while viciously making quoting gestures with my fingers, "of my plastic Lord of The Rings FIGURENES!" I finished yelling. "Ohh now you shut up. Yes when I finally acknowledge I'm crazy you decide to stop talking eh?!" I said grabbing up the copper key to the cupboard and pushing it into the lock.  
  
*Meanwhile*  
  
(in the cupboard)  
  
Upon hearing Pippin's scream of terror the master dwarf know as Gimli son of gloin rushed forward into the   
  
darkness blindly brandishing his axe intent upon destroying the fiend, which had violated his small friend.   
  
"I smell an orc whose days are numbered" Gimli said as he rushed forward.  
  
Just then the faint light that shone from the keyhole became stronger and a female's voice was heard drifting  
  
musically through the room. The increased light and noise distracted the orc and his now visible orc companions long enough for the small hobbit by the name of Pippin to escape from their clutches. The light also gave the elf Legolas time to string his bow and the men Boromir and Aragorn time to prepare for battle.  
  
Just when Pippin made his way to safety behind Boromir the Orcs adjusted to their new situation and howled out their battle cry brandishing their swords and shields.  
  
Not a moment lapsed before everyone was involved in battle inside the cupboard. The men were clashing their swords, the elf shooting his bow, the dwarf swinging his axe, and the hobbits undulating 'round knifes and cooking equipment such as frying pans and ladles.   
  
The force of the battle had grown quite strong and with every heavy blow or hit the cupboard rocked   
  
precariously on it's base. Due to the nature of their small dark and cramped quarters the battle was not going too well for the band of companions known as the fellowship. Though they were more in number then the orcs, the circumstances of their fight were vastly different, for the orcs thrived in the darkness and could find their way through easily where as the fellowship could not.  
  
As the eight valiant companions having no way to escape began preparing themselves for the end the cupboard ceased it's rocking and a large object presumably a key was shoved into the keyhole. As the key turned the fellowship was infused with new hope. A means of escape were soon to be available and they would leave this battle with their lives.   
  
"As soon as the door opens run for all your might!" Aragorn said while beating off an disgusting orc   
  
determined to have his head.   
  
The door cracked open and the fellowship prepared for their exit. Aragorn knowing the short legs of hobbits   
  
could never run as fast as the legs of a man, scooped up the nearest hobbit by the name of Sam and readied to run. Boromir followed suit and picked up the two hobbits by the names of Merry and Pippin who were cowered behind him.   
  
Lastly the elf Legolas scooped up perhaps the most important member of the fellowship, the ring bearer Frodo Baggins also a hobbit. The elf then made movements to pick up the shorter dwarf when Gimli said backing away" No one tosses OR carries a dwarf!" Legolas just shrugged and positioned the hobbit in a way that would not inhibit his movement but keep Frodo from slipping out of his grasp.  
  
The door creaked open fully and let in a wash of warm welcoming light from which the orcs cowered and hid. Just then some of the light eclipsed and a shadow fell over those in the cupboard.   
  
The fellowship prepared themselves for a huge ugly monster giant with intentions to kill all things in it's   
  
path but was instead greeted by a fair face the likes of which they had never seen. Her fair skin was milky   
  
and pure while her golden hair shone and created a halo about her face.   
  
"She must be a goddess" whispered Merry looking upon her with awe.  
  
"A beauty to rival even the elves" Legolas said mindlessly reaching upwards.  
  
Her ethereal appearance was soon shattered as this godlike giantess of a woman looked from one member of the fellowship to another and let out a high-pitched scream. 


End file.
